Living Louder
by YourLittleShoujo
Summary: "I'm your imprint" she whispered tasting the words. But it felt comical, unreal. Too good for anything she always imagined. Imprint. Her own label. Jacob's smile widened from ear to ear and continued to laugh quietly at her reaction, "Yes, love. You're mine"


**Disclaimer: Sadly, I'm just a fan who dreams of owning Taylor Lautner. I own nothing.**

**Living Louder**

_If today's the day I die,_

_Lay me down under the lights,_

_Let me fall in love,_

_Let me save a life._

Tonight was a night of different nights.

Supposedly not the best, but it miraculously came to be the start of something new. Everything had changed when Jacob marveled the conception of sheer grief and lived through the worse understanding why he had survived. Part of it wasn't his fault for fighting since being Alpha brought so much for their pact. Of course he didn't like it so much when everyone read his mind—no one did—but leading an entire family of wolves hadn't exactly resolve any of those demands. A part of him hoped for better when his heart caved in to all the pain that had _hurt_. Bad. But there was nothing else he had left. Nothing left to loose, admittedly, and while jarred under both of Seth and Leah's whims, including Edward's who sealed the deal for him, he agreed to everything.

It was stupid, honestly. Jacob didn't know how to be a leader. He wasn't born one. He only had one promise: to protect Bella. Even if she didn't love him, the least he could do was keep her alive, have a _normal_ beating heart. But how long had it been? Two? Three years? He stopped counting the days he long dreamed of when every heart racing reverie completely broke him for nothing. He was only 16; he could've stopped it at any chance. But he loved too much to even understand.

No one blamed him, really. Not Edward. Not Charlie. Not Bella. No one. It _was_ normal, inevitable. Love is love and it wasn't everyone's luck to live forever with that special someone; Jacob had his time and surely it wasn't then. Still, he thought like any lovesick fool and fought for her.

Although he sensed that it probably was too late to fix everything, Jacob still hoped. He wished, prayed, loved to the very end until he failed. He imagined Bella naked in other situations but not how seeing her bare meant loosing her entirely.

And there it was. Drenched in blood, his heart was dying. If she died, he had lost but if she survived not just as Bella Swan anymore, it still didn't matter because he couldn't have her. Not the way she is.

She was a vampire—something he couldn't undoubtedly have _nor_ want. But later on, he didn't want to. At least, not anymore.

That was when _he_ had changed. The first time he actually saw _her_.

Rensemee.

The pull was there naturally, string by string coiling around her until it brought him back to his feet. The first time he felt anything for months surprised him because this was new. Entirely something else and something jolted in his stomach that slowly went higher to his chest straight to the heart. It beat faster, wilder than he ever imagined and his eyes couldn't stop gazing at her. Probably because she was so beautiful. Simply intoxicating and nothing he expected to be, at all.

_Renesmee._

The ache was back but this time something wonderful. Ecstatic. Full of _love_. He didn't believe it, couldn't, especially when it was Bella's daughter but the pull grew stronger, wanting to have her with him and just feel good for the first time after all conspicuous drama.

That was the first time Jacob believed in 'true love'. Cliché in all its sense, he wasn't going to deny anything. Somewhere in between all the nonsense he deserved to be happy at least, and so he was. Finally. His Imprint.

And so it was. The first night Jacob Black learned how to really love.

_Let me loose my voice, _

_Singing all my favorite songs, _

_Let me stare up at the stars, _

'_Cause it's where we all belong_

"Hey," Jacob turned around instinctively when he heard familiar footsteps lunge towards him. He smiled wider feeling thin forearms around his neck and two brown eyes lit up at his face while pulling them closer to his chest, doing the best way possible to get drunk by her scent.

_Vanilla. _If tonight was quiet enough, anyone could've heard his heart beating faster by the second.

"Just because you're warm doesn't mean you have to leave me in the house with a family of live snowmen" Renesmee quietly told him. She looked physically 17, yet better.

He laughed before taking her small hands in his and slowly kissed each knuckle. She felt him smile against her palm when she let out a sigh of contentment and looked up to meet her gaze.

"You were asleep and Edward didn't like me staying in your room for too long. You know your dad's rules"

"He's overprotective sometimes," she said disbelievingly, "but he doesn't have to let you out of the house like that."

"He didn't. I just went out for a walk" Jacob pulled away reaching for his bag to offer a can of soda. Renesmee refused; her human instincts not as active the past few months and had hardly ate anything normal. It's hard to digest blood with food sometimes so she stuck to her side of insanity, considering she wasn't purely normal.

Looking around, she asked "Why are you here anyway? It's a good thing I found you"

"You always find me"

The forest wasn't dark enough to hide the blush in her cheeks causing Jacob to laugh silently to himself while opening the can and helping to a few gulps. These were the drawbacks of being human. It's difficult being rational around Jacob and sometimes Renesmee hated vulnerability. Well, after all, she is a girl and they go through this stuff. Anyone does. But it came all too fast and far too much to anticipate everything it came to be the type of sick hormonal love hard to let go and Jacob had that effect on her, at least until she realized it was like that or something close to it.

Jacob started lighting a fire, collecting a few branches off the forest floor and piling them together. Renesmee stepped closer watching him at work and moved a little back when the first flame appeared. Suddenly everything got brighter when the sun slowly faded and saw clearly where they were.

"You're staying here?" she asked him

Jacob turned to her, "I'm more than happy to let you stay with me, if you want. It's an improvised camping thing."

"Well, you seem prepared" she said, eyeing the few bags of food in his open pack. And she wouldn't have known if she hadn't looked for him here in the woods. Did he plan this without her?

Jacob _hardly_ ever did that.

"You sleep a lot longer than a bear in hibernation, Ness" he mused, "it's only a few supplies I got but I'm sure it's enough. Unless you're hungry though, I can get more."

She shook her head, "No, I'm fine"

He walked to her, carefully touching her face with his hand drawing her impossibly close. He smelt like fruits, more like the forest but still amazing. Its better this way having him than not, Renesmee thought. Love really was a funny thing and she wasn't sure yet if that really was their case. Sure, he'd look at her sometimes with so much tenderness that maybe there was more than just typical friends and maybe she wishfully thought so most of the time.

Ten years. She had him for almost ten years. That should've done something, right?

"Ness?"

Renesmee looked up to see brown eyes, nearly black against the fire, worriedly watching her. Jacob seemed more agitated than her father these days and gave him a reassuringly smile leaning into the warmth of his hand against her pale cheek. She had always wanted to feel this way with him. Cherished. Safe. Like the only girl in the world.

"Did you hear what I said?" Jacob asked, still anxious "I asked if you wanted me to walk you back home now or just stay here."

"What about you?"

"I could chill for a while"

"Oh."

So he really did plan alone. He had a right to that, not that he needed to be with her all the time. Just a little space. Jacob didn't avoid her purposely—he never dared. So this was okay, right? Nothing personal.

Still looking at him, she let the smile on her face remain and he smiled back causing the breath in her throat to constrict. Why was he too lovable? She looked like a total idiot staring at him sometimes but Jacob hardly seemed to mind. Sometimes she'd think that he loves it. She did a lot of that often and he'd catch her just smiling that egotistic man pride back. Men.

With dusk almost ending, the forest was getting colder but I'm sure that hardly mattered to him when his temperature burned beyond normal. Renesmee shifted uncomfortably though that fails to go unnoticed.

Jacob takes her hand, "Come on, I'll walk you."

Great.

He _had_ asked her if she wanted to stay and that should have count. This isn't nosey business Renesmee, merely just accepting an offer. Of course it was reasonable. And a bit childish considering how desperate she grew to be. Love _really_ is a funny thing.

She was sure that Jacob could feel her skin nearly frozen in his by now, but knowing how hot he naturally was, she hoped it made no difference. "It wasn't part of dad's rules to stay outdoors beyond 6, right? Because I am a vampire and theoretically it shouldn't really bother him"

The corners of his mouth lit up to a full smile, "There can be a few exceptions, I guess."

"Good," she smirked back "I've never really gone camping before"

_My heart is on fire, a work in my chest._

_My only regret is having regrets, _

_I traveled the world, I loved every step, _

_All I know is…_

It felt like Jacob was in a movie. Smooth. Casual. Perfect.

Well, nearly.

Just as the seasons had promised the forest grew colder after sundown but the fire had helped and with Renesmee lying closely against him, assumingly she felt fine. There was so much work for the canopy held above them with a few thick branches holding it together but so far things were great. He didn't have time for a real tent but it hadn't disappointed her though, much better to have him for a tent instead and it didn't really make any difference—just better.

They had been quiet for hours. Somehow just being there closer than close was enough to pass time and this was how Jacob hoped forever would be like. With her.

He nearly growled when she nuzzled her face into his neck, breathing every breath of him and driving him insane. God, the things she could do. Over and over it became a reverie. Something too sweet and dangerous at the same time that he never dreamed of stopping. Ever.

It was far _too_ good to end anything, but apart from the things he wanted there was more than being naturally drawn to a heartbreakingly gorgeous woman. And this is why it got hard. They never stopped. His feelings just kept coming and coming to him until probably that wanting would drive him mad and she'd have to just break away. Jacob couldn't imagine the heartbreak with anyone but her.

He never dared.

He felt her shift to the side, moving closer if possible and enjoying his hand stroking her back at a sensational rhythm.

At the corner of their heads a single wood cracked causing the canopy to nearly knock them over in the face, but thanks to Jacob's unbelievable reflex he had caught in time before moving it to the side leaving them now shade-less in the night.

Renesmee fought back fits of laughter while staring at the sky, "Is this how improvising proved to be?"

"I never really was a boy scout," he kissed her head, "so don't count on me too much about these things"

"Not that it's that bad though," she said rising onto her elbows to look at him "I think I like it better"

Jacob raised a brow, "Really now?"

"The stars aren't so bad tonight, are they?"

He looked up to see them burning brighter than usual, seemingly more attractive. Renesmee's eyes were pieces of them, longingly more beautiful than Venus shining by the east. Jacob laughed to himself, knowing how poetic that really sounded. She stared at him confusingly and blushed redder when he titled her chin to look at him directly.

"What do you think?" he asked

"Of what?"

"The stars" he said quietly

"They really are lovely tonight, Jake. Haven't you noticed them?"

His eyes softened, tantalizingly her skin with his warm breath "I'm already looking at it"

She couldn't stop the smile on her face and leaned forward to touching their foreheads, swearing to herself that she could've nearly kissed him. Now _that_ seemed nice. His breath fanned her face crawling up to her cheeks until that blush was ever so present like it never went away. He kissed the spot in between where her eyebrows met and let his lips stay for a while, meaningfully to land somewhere else like her lips…

Jacob's mind suddenly kicked in. He had to control it unless he told her the truth and since he didn't, then he would have to wait—miserably.

The wind blew stronger now without the canopy urging Renesmee to possibly still lean further; mouths _almost_ centimeters apart. Jacob immediately stirred, intentionally distracting her.

"What?" Renesmee snapped

"Edward could kill me if I don't take you home now."

"Dad will know it's okay if I'm with you"

"That's somewhere he can sensor me. Not here" he told her

"Well," Renesmee nonchalantly eyed him, "he should know by now that you won't do anything to me, Jacob. Because there really isn't _anything_"

He let out a breathe of air through his nostrils, tightening the arm around her waist and gazing at her, like it meant the world. Sometimes it hurt to have her this way, so _very_ close but not enough. Simply not enough. So he was a coward, but save him from the pain of loosing her later. Nothing matched up to that—she was way too important for anything else.

He sat up consequently bringing her to sit on his lap like always when she was younger. Renesmee remained quiet, obviously a little annoyed. He does it a lot. He let the moment slip again—his fault. He tried nestling in between the joint to her shoulder and her neck but she turned her head away, obviously not letting him to. Jacob sighed.

Yep, screwed.

But she didn't move away from him. She sat there quietly in front of him as if he wasn't a few inches away. Was she supposed to be mad? They weren't technically a couple so what did she expect, that he'd magically kiss her the way she terribly wanted him to? It wasn't normal. But he did it all the time like he would kiss her and then suddenly bail. She had feelings too. Of course, one way or the other, she would want it. So, _so_ bad.

_Ten years, Renesmee. Too long to hold up anything by now._

She turned to look at Jacob who was still watching her, "Ness"

"Sometimes I forget that my best friend is a werewolf" she said close to a whisper, but enough for him to still hear her.

Sometimes it was just Jacob. A boy. Not some macho alpha wolf of ultra huge wolves. She'd seen him phase more than a thousand times but being who he was the best of who he really is as a person and made him special. It wasn't everyday she got close to another guy because Jacob was all she had and she didn't have plans of changing it—_him_—either. Renesmee understood the concept of protecting her ever since she was a baby but until today she never knew why. What made her special?

It was her turn to sigh exasperatingly, still not moving. Jacob's hands moved up to her arms soothing them until he made Renesmee look at him. Really look into his eyes. If there was one thing he loved about her face, it was her eyes. Brown, innocent, stunning. Ever so slowly his thumb skims over the planes of her cheek down to lining of her jaw then back without saying anything until they fall back to her lips. His eyes shut in frustration.

Last chance.

_That's all you have_, _Jake,_ he thought, _a last chance_.

_No one, no one lives forever,_

_We will be remembered for what we do right now, _

_Baby I'm living louder, dreaming longer tonight,_

_Baby I'm fighter harder, loving stronger tonight, _

"Do you know you're beautiful?" Jacob didn't think coherently when he asked

Renesmee blinked once, twice, a few more times before she replied, "Um…no?"

"Imagine a younger Audrey Hepburn, but hotter, with bloodsucking parents"

"Jake…" her eyes narrowed

"I'm just saying," He said, "that you're so beautiful it hurts every time I look at you."

"Is that why you're eyes are closed?"

Jacob shortly laughed and opened them, "No"

"Because I have brown curls and deadly red lips?"

"Ness, I'm telling you so because it's true"

Again Renesmee blushed and this time he brought his mouth to her neck, kissing her skin up to her jaw, below her ears, her face, all over her cheeks and stopped in front of her lips close enough to feel it really _there_. Alive, breathing and real.

He couldn't help fighting a smile that quickly faded feeling her familiar heartbeat hammering against his own and say, "People tell me I'm lucky"

"Are you?" she crossed her arms at him, glaring.

He moved them around his neck to move her closer, straddling his hips completely. Renesmee gasped but didn't try to pry with him. "I'm a firm believer" he said

"Yeah," she scoffed "but not much guts"

Jacob winced. That hurt. "That doesn't have to do with anything, Ness"

"Then are you always doing…this?"

"What?" he asked

"Everything! The way you look at me, touch me, kiss me—_this_, Jacob. Since then I never knew why you're there for me when I need you or just want to, but I can't help but feel. And I don't know if it's really that but I want it to be, okay? It matters to _me_"

"I know—"

"Do you, really?" She sarcastically asked him, trying to stand and walk away but Jacob's arms were too firm around her it was impossible to really move from him.

"I'm not letting go"

"So now you decide holding onto me?" She spat

Jacob wasn't oblivious when her eyes shone in the dark, promising tears to fall. He hated himself but he owed her this moment, and he was determined enough not to back out now when he finally knew how she felt. The problem would be the aftermath if it were still the same.

He moved a hand to her cheek, carefully wiping a tear under her lashes but aggravatingly pushed it away. Jacob sighed, "It's matter to me, too"

"How? Because it's not the way I see it, Jacob"

"I'm not verbally inclined—"

Her eyebrows shot up, "So it's okay to play it out on me instead?" She barked a laughed, "Wow. Then I'm not just naïve, am I? But stupid"

She successfully pulled away and stood up, quickly walking away. He ran after her meaning to grab her hand but she had insistently pushed it. For a second time, he caught her and moved to block the way in front of her. Meters away from the fire, his eyes were completely black, pleading. But his hand was firm on hers, not letting go and it was no use when Jacob finally caught her falling.

Renesmee continued to stare at him, waiting for an explanation.

"Look, I...it's not, uh, the way—it's just that…" He kept stuttering at the words. It was a lot harder now staring at him like that when his heart was in total jeopardy.

His rubbed his face with a free hand, frustratingly looking at the ground then to her, "I told you I'm not good at this."

"Then I'm not good at all either"

"No, wait!"

Jacob tightened his hand around her and took a deep breath. He looked at her one more time and knew what it meant to suffer. He was sure of not doing the same thing twice again.

"It's a damned world—not everyone's favorite place to be but it's the only place I can be with you and I don't mind. I'm not proud of the things I've done here. Sometimes I wish I never came back because, I mean, how would it help if I knew how stupid I really was? But this was home and all of it hardly mattered anymore. I didn't care. I still ran away. But when I _did _return, the first night I had you, was the night I really wanted to stay here. Forever. You pulled me back, Ness. You brought me here to you. I thought maybe your mom had cravings for me or whatever but I stayed until that night I held you in my arms for the first time. You had me bad at first glance and that was it. It's why I'm here. For you."

Then it was quiet. The air in his lungs lost fuel; it was hard to stop talking when it meant the world to him, but hopefully it'd been rewarding.

Renesmee hardly breathed.

_Forever_. He said that. Did he say that? Yeah, he just did Renesmee.

The way Jacob looked at her now felt serious. She started feeling her head spin and her heart jumping its way to her throat. Renesmee had no answer to that. What was she supposed to say? '_Please and Thank You'?_ She didn't see anything else anymore except him. Jacob was the perfect definition of man. Tanned skin, sexy built and the face of a God, she wouldn't ask for more. And here he was telling her what she eloquently wanted, but not yet everything she'd expect.

Jacob carefully moved, keeping a reasonable distance and finally freeing her hand hoping she made sense of his words. But Renesmee continued looking at him, probably speechless.

"Ness?"

"I-I don't…" she fought for her voice again, "I don't quite understand"

His smile made everything harder, even just staring, "You think I don't know how it feels too?" he asked sincerely

And the world stopped.

_Because we're all just kids who grew up way too fast,_

_The good die young, _

_But the great always last_

_We're going over, _

_We're all soldiers tonight…_

Real. Everything felt so real.

His lips were fast on her mouth, consuming them in passion and love. They came gentle at first but when she wrapped her arms around him closing any space between them, it grew desperate. Her first kiss. And it was amazing.

Jacob's hands circled around her deepening the sensation. The taste of her, fingers curled in his hair, bodies against each other hot and wild, Jacob knew heaven. Her lips tasted the way he imagined them to be and Jacob caught it between his own, pulling and pushing them apart. Renesmee felt his tongue begging for entrance and allowed him to have her whole, invading her mouth.

Her tongue in his mouth was the only thing he could feel. Their tempo increased, growing even more potent than the last and she was hot everywhere. Jacob moaned, continuing the feel of her tongue still in him.

It had been minutes after they broke apart, breathless, but still close to let their breaths meet and faces nearly touching. Renesmee opened her eyes to look at him and her heart swelled with so much love. Jacob kissed her again, pouring all of his emotions to her and she met it with the same need.

His lips caressed hers, nibbling, squeezing, loving them altogether. His hands slide down her back and moving her closer to him if possible as she groaned. Nothing came in between them. The moment had to last and when Jacob pulled away for air, he smiled against her lips, finally doing what he should've an eternity ago.

Everything was quiet except for the rugged breathing. They held onto each other, not letting go.

She tilts her head, finding Jacob gazing down at her and smiles backs. She places a chaste kiss on his mouth and murmurs, "You could've just done _that_, you know"

He traces kisses along her jaw line to her neck before settling his face into her hair and chuckling softly, "I'm a bit sentimental"

Renesmee pulled away to see his face properly, admiring him. It possibly seemed absurd defining a guy 'beautiful' but that was what Jacob was. Perfect. Beautiful. Hers.

She unrelenting stared at him until a loose thread fell from her thoughts, still not fitting into place "There's still something I don't understand" she said

"What?" he asked torturously leaving his kisses at their wake across her face and finally meeting her lips again.

"Why me?"

"Why you what?"

"The night you I was born was when you _really_ stayed. Why? It doesn't make sense."

This time Jacob looked at her. He pictured this moment over and over in his head how he'd tell her and it was now or never. There was no reason to be afraid when he already knew how she'd react to it and probably even better than he imagined. Probably.

He took her face in both of his hands, rubbing her cheeks lovingly against his thumbs and consciously prepared for anything. _Now or never. _

"Do you know how Quil got Claire?"

"Yeah. He imprinted on her" she answered

"How old was she then?"

"He said she was just tw—"

Jacob carefully watched her eyes widen and quietly breathed in. He cheekily smiled at her, slowly becoming a laugh and relentlessly smoothening her cheeks for comfort.

Renesmee's heart quickened and she…did she really think it through enough? Of course it made sense. The clues were at her feet. She only had to be smart enough piecing them together. Jacob. Werewolf. Her. How he never liberally left her alone. Typical boyfriend material. Why no one in her family really cared when he was at home. God, how could've she missed it?

"I'm your imprint" she whispered tasting the words. But it felt comical, unreal. Too good for anything she always imagined. _Imprint. _Her own label.

Jacob's smile widened from ear to ear and continued to laugh quietly at her reaction, "Yes, love. You're _mine_"

His.

Then it was there again. Wolf and Vampire. Brown and Black. Renesmee and Jacob.

Him and her.

The truth is Satan's bargain but Jacob had risked telling her tonight everything he owed since forever. Although tonight, it earned him well. Because for once, he was living louder.

_Fin_

**It took me some time writing this story since it's my first to write a Twilight fic inspired by my own obsession over this couple, whom I will continue to fantasize until Stephenie Meyer will decide to write them a sequel. Or just a whole new series instead. **

**Anyway, thank you for reading. The song is Living Louder by The Cab and I love them, honestly. Pardon for any grammatical or punctuation errors. I love fanfiction but I don't have that much time to really write them.**

**Reviews are always loved **


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